As I've written about already on this blog, I spent some time in the hospital this summer getting my system calibrated after being diagnosed with a Vitamin B12 deficiency. The deficiency had already reduced my hemoglobin to a dangerously low level. In addition to all the physical symptoms I was experiencing, I was very low emotionally, as well. Of course, I reasoned, the world is a mess and I'm responding appropriately to that.
Now that I'm better, the world is still a mess, but I can cope with it much better. Physically I'm so much stronger, and emotionally - wow! I feel as though I have myself back.
In this post back in April, I wrote a little bit about birding and the way it was helping me deal with life during isolation (and, I now realize, life without enough hemoglobin). This poem includes a lot of the same ideas.
The Birds, Anyway
This morning
The bananaquits hang upside down,
The palmchats strip the ficus of fruit,
The hummingbirds zip back and forth.
Everyone’s busy and energetic.
It would be anthropomorphizing to say: happy.
But I say it anyway:
Happy, like me.
But I don’t forget
That the birds were also there when I was sad.
They took care of their avian business
While I watched them through tears.
They showed up anyway,
And I showed up too,
And typed their names into my phone with my thumbs.
And I remember on Pandemic Easter Sunday,
A day utterly devoid of gloria,
When the Hispaniolan lizard cuckoo
Descended upon the branch above me,
And I could see every feather through my binoculars.
I was beneath his royal notice
But my heart was lifted for a moment anyway,
Lifted in a small resurrection.
Ruth, from thereisnosuchthingasagodforsakentown.blogspot.com
Now we're getting ready to go back to school in a hybrid mode next week. It's extremely challenging but I know everyone's life is right now. I'm feeling all of it, how scary it is and how overwhelming. I'm aware of the politics and the social situation and the virus and all of it, and I don't mean to suggest that my personal health solves any of this. But I'm also equipped with hemoglobin, so I'm OK. And grateful.
The fabulous Heidi is hosting today's roundup. Great to see you again, Heidi!
11 comments:
I imagine that your post touches everyone who reads it, Ruth. Being healthy does help or at least that is one less thing to worry over. I'm happy that your problem was solved, whew! Best wishes for a good start to your year. My granddaughters started this past Monday, online. So far, so good!
So grateful today for correct diagnoses, and treatment, and poetry, and you, and this poem in particular. Thanks, Ruth!
I wonder if the birds know how much they mean to us (or at least some of us)… Fabulously handsome bird, I had to look at it–a lovely bird to be lifted by along with your poem. Glad you're feeling better. All the best with school starting, thanks!
I want to google all of the birds in your poem. I love the lilt of it, how the cuckoo was there even when you were sad. How did you fare in the recent storm? We are fine and feeling very grateful. I'm so glad you have discovered the physical source of your woes. We are all such chemical beings. God bless your school beginning.
Loved reading your post and knowing that you're so much better. I need to look up your birds,the only one I recognized was the hummingbird. Happy beginning of your school year!
Ruth, I'm so glad you are feeling better. Thank goodness. Isn't it amazing how much we can learn from birds? They are so innocent and unaware of how much we love looking at them. Be gentle on yourself as you head into the new school year. My administrator looked at all our faces today on a zoom call and said, "wow" I can see the stress. He told us to take care of ourselves and to not worry over getting everything right from the get-go. Thank goodness for that too!
Ruth, looking backward to move forward in gratitude is what I take away from your poem and experience. I am so glad that you are feeling better and that you were "Lifted in a small resurrection". (I still think of your son lifting you up in prayer-such a sweet sight.) Life is uncertain and fragile so take care. I wish you well as you start your new school year.
I'm SO glad you're feeling better in body and spirit! Your poem is so wonder-full. I love that you are sending us all to look up those birds. Even if we don't know what they look like, that experience of seeing the cuckoo on Easter Sunday...we get that!
So much goodness in this post, most especially that you are feeling much better, Ruth. I love how this poem shows our connection to nature sustains us - in good times and bad. Sending you much light, love, and happiness for the start of the school year. :)
So much gratitude in your poem. I'm glad you are feeling better. It's nice to have a diagnosis easily treated. My mother was a nurse and many years ago used to give Vitamin B12 shots in our restaurant kitchen to a neighbor woman.
Ruth, I'm relieved you're feeling better. And yes for noticing nature in good times and reminding ourselves that it's there in the bad times, too. We just have to notice.
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