I have struggled all day with my line. I don't have a clear mental image of what's going on here. We have some birds. We have a beach scene. We have a springtime riot of crocuses and kites and green. We have the whispering wind. And then we have some...horses? Winged horses? Hippogriffs? I'm not really sure, and I don't know who is greeting them - that is, I can't picture the person in my mind. Most serious of all for my line, I don't know who is gliding aside - is it the horse-like creatures or the narrator? I do know that the narrator longs to fly, to dive, to run with dogs - she (I think it's a she) would definitely grab the opportunity to ride these winged creatures, if she could. Then there's still that divining seer on her perch from the previous stanza. Who or what is that? Since the seer is on a perch, I thought maybe it was a bird, and maybe the golden wings belong to that bird. More and more, I'm thinking that the persona of the poem is immobilized somehow, watching birds and a beach and a nearby park where children fly kites, imagining but not able to get up and go. Is it an elderly person? Someone who is ill or disabled? She's dreaming, she's thinking of life, "seen and unseen." So many things still to figure out in the last ten lines. And meanwhile, I have to write something...
I decided to give our persona another wish, keeping it in the unsatisfying "I'd" form instead of letting her act on her wish, keeping the action imaginary. I hope Jan thinks I've made the right decision.
A squall of hawk wings stirs the sky.
A hummingbird holds and then hies.
If I could fly, I'd choose to be
Sailing through a forest of poet-trees.
A cast of crabs engraves the sand
Delighting a child's outstretched hand.
If I could breathe under the sea,
I'd dive, I'd dip, I'd dance with glee.
A clump of crocuses crave the sun.
Kites soar while joyful dogs run.
I sing to spring, to budding green,
to all of life - seen and unseen.
Wee whispers drift from cloud to ear
and finally reach one divining seer
who looks up from her perch and beams --
West Wind is dreaming May, it seems.
Golden wings open and gleam
Golden wings open and gleam
as I greet the prancing team.
Gliding aside with lyrical speed,
I'd ride Pegasus to Ganymede.
1 Laura at Writing the World for Kids
2 Joy at Joy Acey
3 Doraine at Dori Reads
4 Diane at Random Noodling
5 Penny at A Penny and Her Jots
6 Carol at Beyond LiteracyLink
7 Liz at Elizabeth Steinglass
8 Janet F. at Live Your Poem
9 Margaret at Reflections on the Teche
10 Pat at Writer on a Horse
11 Buffy at Buffy's Blog
12 Michelle at Today's Little Ditty
13 Linda at TeacherDance
14 Jone at Deo Writer
15 Matt at Radio, Rhythm and Rhyme
16 Violet at Violet Nesdoly
17 Kim at Flukeprints
18 Irene at Live Your Poem
19 Charles at Poetry Time
20 Ruth at There is No Such Thing as a Godforsaken Town
21 Jan at Bookseedstudio
22 Robyn at Life on the Deckle Edge
23 Ramona at Pleasures from the Page
24 Amy at The Poem Farm
25 Mark at Jackett Writes
26 Renee at No Water River
27 Mary Lee at Poetrepository
28 Heidi at My Juicy Little Universe
29 Sheila at Sheila Renfro
30 Donna at Mainely Write