We sit down...while Billie makes us all a cup of tea. The American way. Which means she sticks three coffee mugs half full of water in the microwave for thirty seconds. Then she dunks the same Lipton tea bag in all three mugs until a nasty brown swirl appears. Then she adds a squidge of lemon and tells us to "come and get it."
If you are English, you will know how I feel about this. If you are not English, let me take this opportunity to tell you how to make a drinkable cup of tea.
First, you warm a teapot. Then you put in tea leaves - Earl Grey, Lapsang, or Darjeeling, ideally. One teaspoon for each person, and one for the pot. Then you pour in water that has been boiled. In a kettle. After waiting a few minutes for the tea to brew you pour a little milk into the bottom of a teacup. Then, using a tea strainer, you pour in the tea. Then, if you take sugar, you add sugar. Then you drink it.
If you are English and have the misfortune to find yourself drinking tea with an American who has made it incorrectly, you do not give any indication that the tea is anything other than delicious. Instead you say something like what I say to Billie, which is, "Thank you. How lovely. Do you by any chance have any milk?"
When your American watches you pour in the milk and declares that next time she'll put the milk, the sugar, and the tea in the teapot all at the same time, because it'll be so much quicker that way, you do not flinch. Instead you smile, politely, and pretend to drink the mug of tea in front of you. You can't of course, because apart from everything else, the lemon has made the milk curdle. So you pour it down the sink when no one's looking.
Amen, sister!
I am not quite as picky as this character. I do drink my tea out of a mug. (But not a styrofoam cup!) I also tolerate tea bags, but please, it needs to be actual tea. Not something made out of grass or fruit or some such thing. Tea.
10 comments:
No wonder I'm not a tea fan. I've usually had it the American way.
But when I was in Ireland in high school, I liked it. They always put the milk in first, the British way.
If you ever come to visit, I'll let you make the tea! :-)
I so sincerely agree with Alison. I don't even see the point of pretending to make tea the way it's made most of the time in America. And with you--it's hard to picture any drink experience more disappointing than tea in a Styrofoam cup.
The only point I don't agree with her on is her choice of teas. Lapsang is great, but Darjeeling is a bit too weak, whereas Earl Grey often tastes too much of bergamot and not enough of tea--it has to be a very fine Earl Grey. Like other Kenyans, I like my tea robust. If you can't get actual Kenyan tea, Irish breakfast is often a nice strong blend.
I actually carry tea bags with me when I travel, because I live in a country where (one of its greatest weaknesses) you can't get loose-leaf tea. I've found a tea bag I've been able to get used to. I'm afraid I'm a tea snob.
Whole milk, please, and for the authentic Kenyan flavor the sugar shouldn't be too processed.
And do you know how hard it is to find a tea cozy?!
I so admire her British reserve and politeness. I guess you can tell I'm not British.
Oh, and try convincing an American that all this matters. "We're all the same, deep down"? Yeah, right. We can't even agree with other English speaking nations on what's important!
W2B, I'd be happy to do the honors! :-)
Andy, of course Kenya tea (as pictured) is the best. And I have started carrying tea with me, too, when we are going to stay in hotels. I live in a coffee culture, not a tea culture.
Oh, and about milk: I have been forced to compromise on it. I now tolerate powdered milk or even UHT in my tea. I know, I know...but it's either that or give up drinking tea. Because I CAN'T drink it without milk.
A beautiful picture of tea bushes. Must be Kericho!
UHT milk is actually what I prefer. It gives it that camping flavor.
For real camping flavor, drink it out of an enamel mug. Mmm, burned lips!
Real tea, of course, is green, the best of which comes from Sayama City, Saitama Prefecture, Japan, and needs no milk or sugar.
SW:
Yeah, whatever.
;-)
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