I don't know that it has. It's strengthened my awareness of how much I need connection and community, for sure. I miss people, and conversations, more than I can say. I'm thankful for people who love me and whom I love here at home and a safe place to be, but I miss the constant interactions at school, the way my students make me laugh daily, the chance to get out of my own life and my own head. Technology doesn't cut it, partly because it doesn't work well enough to make real-time conversations easy; my internet connection is slow and unreliable (but oh, I'm so thankful for it). We are repeatedly thrown off our connection with our Zoom church; smaller groups are better but still not great. (I keep trying to add a photo to this post, but the connection is too slow today and I'm finally giving up in frustration.)
I am grateful for technology-aided conversations I am able to have: church, a call from a colleague, conversations with my counselor, family Zoom meetings with my parents and siblings and their families, talking with the occasional friend in the States, texting.
I want more.
I am surprised how much I need people. I went into this lockdown after a nine or ten week break from lockdown caused by political problems. I loved every day of getting to teach in my classroom, and I took advantage of every day. And now back to this. I'm starved for people. It stretches bleakly ahead, as here in Haiti we are still early in the whole horrible scenario.
I have nothing helpful or positive to say today, but fortunately I have lots of books, so here's some Walter Brueggemann, from his Collected Sermons:
As I pondered over "deep waters," I heard this other text in which God assures:
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you. Isaiah 43:1b-2a
This promise is that God will come to be in the waters with us, submitting to the chaos, and by submitting, transforming the waters. So we dare imagine that Jesus did not die abandoned on Friday. As he submitted to the sweeping, surging waters, his God and parent were present in the chaos, thereby transforming the waters into a place of rescuing communion. ...
The world now waits to see whether the faithful church can enter its Friday of chaos, enter in hope and resistance, to trust enough to let the threat become the home of rescue. The transformation requires profound faith and high hutzpah. How dare anyone under such threat say in triumph, "It is finished!"? Such nerve called trust causes the waters to recede, and life in all its fruitfulness may begin again, on Friday toward Sunday. (From a sermon preached by Walter Brueggemann on Good Friday, 1992, at All Saints Episcopal Church in Atlanta.)
Check out Ramona's blog to see what others have to say on this subject.
2 comments:
Ruth, I appreciate your honest words. Things have looked up a bit for us since daughter is working again (some of the time) and so our quarantine with her family has ended for now. I was in a store for the first time in almost two months today. I had to keep reminding myself to hurry up and get out. I wanted to linger, and people watch, and stroll the aisles, and shop at leisure.
I'm sorry that this is coming so soon after your earlier politically-based lockdown.
I thank you for the words you shared from Walter Brueggemann: "...his God and parent were present in the chaos, thereby transforming the waters into a place of rescuing communion. ..."
I always remind myself on the hard days that better days will come. Hoping for some better in your coming days.
Your line: "I'm starved for people" is a powerful one. Thank you for writing real and raw about this topic. I'm glad you have books. What a solid collection of quotes. I'll pray that you feel connection in an unexpected way.
Shine on,
Ruth
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