Wednesday, September 12, 2007


I suppose that last entry was a bit cryptic. I was feeling overwhelmed by the daily details of my life, and discouraged that the hymn was counseling me to be contented with "room to deny myself." It seemed to me that I was getting plenty of opportunity to deny myself.

The update on the electricity situation is that we have been hemorrhaging money and we are now the proud owners of a new generator (one which works, which is a big improvement over the old one) AND new batteries for our inverter. We also contributed to a neighborhood project to buy a new transformer, since it's clear that the electric company isn't going to bring us one. It's exhausting to spend so much time, energy and money on something that we're already paying someone else to provide. (In the process of installing the new generator, two appliances got fried due to problems with wiring which we weren't aware of before, and, in an unrelated incident, our washing machine has quit.)

And always, when living in a country like this one, I feel guilty for complaining about any of this because it just illustrates how little I have to complain about. We had a bunch of problems but we also were able to pay for them to be fixed. We lost some appliances but, hey, we had them in the first place. The washing machine is sitting out back being worked on intermittently by a mechanic who is also doing many other tasks, but I didn't have to walk from the river this morning with water on my head. I've never had to wonder which of my children I could afford to send to school, or how I was going to feed my kids supper tonight. So all in all, it feels pretty pathetic to whine about my problems.

And yet...there are always more "yets." I still have to get my work done, whether or not I have lights to grade by. I still need to be cheerful the next day after having trouble sleeping with no fans (heat and mosquitoes both keep one from sleeping well!). I still have to look across the street and see the street light shining on the people who have electricity. That's my daily round, my common task. I feel ashamed that I don't have the grace to deal with even these few difficulties the way I see people around me dealing with far worse situations.

As Alana reminds me, glory to God for all things.

No comments: