Seven months ago, I was in the hospital after I was diagnosed with a vitamin deficiency. One of the things the doctor said to me during the process of the diagnosis was, "You've probably been losing weight for a long time, right?" I had been. I had constant gastro-intestinal issues, a steadily decreasing appetite, and at the end, a sore mouth. I didn't feel like eating, and what I did eat didn't sit well with me.
As I get better and better, I have started gaining some weight. This is a good thing. I was too thin. And it's good that I'm eating well again, enjoying food, and feeling healthy and strong. So far my weight gain is in the single digits and my clothes all still fit.
And yet, I am embarrassed to admit that I really don't like seeing the numbers go up on the scale. I'm starting to realize that I liked being thin, even though I was too thin. Even though gaining weight is what I need to be doing, it makes me worried. And all this is true even though I live in a culture where a little extra weight on a woman is considered beautiful.
Isn't this so silly? I am surprised to find out that I have these unhealthy attitudes about weight. I am trying to get used to reminding myself that the number isn't at all the issue; good health is.
Here are today's slices from others. Happy Tuesday!
5 comments:
I like how you wrote so openly and honestly. I don’t think you’re silly at all, but rather share the thoughts of many. Good luck to you and glad to hear you are healthy!
When I saw your topic, I thought, "Surely, she needs to gain weight." Our culture has ingrained in us that we should desire to be thin. I have had trouble with weight loss at different times in my life and it's hard to come to the conclusion that you need to gain, not lose. Your conclusion is correct! It's silly to worry about the numbers. I'm so glad you are on the way to a more healthy you! (Margaret Simon)
Perhaps you’ve been conditioned to view any weight gain as a negative, despite knowing cognitively this isn’t true. As you feel better maybe those feelings will go away, but I understand the fear we associate w/ any weight gain. ‘Preciate your candor in this post.
What everyone else has said. Fear of weight/irrational valuing of thinness is very deeply ingrained in our culture and it's hard to shake them. This is why people die of anorexia. Glad you're on your way back to health!
The main thing is to be healthy, so I'm glad your condition was diagnosed and you're better now. I've had a similar condition on and off and it's no fun at all. It's okay to want to stay thin, but if you gain a bit of weight it won't be a problem either! Enjoy your health!
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