Monday, May 31, 2010

Sometimes

Sometimes, in the midst of an ordinary task, I am suddenly seized with longing for my life, the way it was on January 11th. That was a time when over 230,000 more people lived in Port-au-Prince - and their lives may have been hard, but they were full lives, lives of people who were surviving and thriving, and they were cut short without warning, and they left behind many who grieve for them. That was a time when I didn't know anything about the Richter scale, or about the USGS website where you can monitor aftershocks or about what it's like to watch people I know on CNN. It was a time before countless families had been torn apart, countless limbs lost, countless recurrent nightmares born. It was a time before every empty space in Port-au-Prince had become a tent city.

Sometimes I wish so much that none of it had ever happened that the wishing almost takes my breath away.

2 comments:

Kathie said...

I remember feeling that same way for several months after Terry was diagnosed with cancer. The confusion, the just not knowing what would happen next, it was awful. Life is certainly different for us now. We never imagine this time in our lives looking like it does but it is good. It is very, very good. And I must say, we appreciate life on a completely different level than we did before. My guess is you will have somewhat the same experience as you go back home and begin to live your "new" life. You know, even in bad situations, nothing is wasted. I am sure you will rise above your pain and help change the world around you, one student/family at a time. Bless you!

Janet said...

I can imagine how fierce that longing is. We feel it when one person we love dies. In your case it's a whole world, as you've put it before.